Most of us go through life mechanically because along the way we were misled by societal norms. We were led to believe we were worker bees, always hustling and constantly in competition with everyone. Living this way can be mentally and emotionally draining. We set out early in the hopes of making a lot of money to be happy, but what happens when we find it? No one talks about how joyless it can be or how much they give up in the process to secure that wealth. And while money does buy happiness and security. It is not everything. And it will certainly not bring you peace.
Some of us go on the hunt for inner peace without doing any internal work. You need to make time and space to be able to internally access why some things are the way they are. And, yes while we were all busy hustling before the pandemic hit us. Now seems like the best time to tackle one’s innermost feelings and emotions. Pay attention to the little details that will make your life better. Even if you cannot predict how things will play out.
Here’s a list of 9 things to leave behind asap for inner peace:
1) Blurry boundaries.
The problem with this is that we allow a lot more than we are prepared to truly tolerate. This is why it helps to set up boundaries. When someone does something that upsets you, you should politely discuss it with them and ask them to no push beyond that. This might be hard to do at the workplace but you can still approach managers and peers on how to tackle these efficiently without getting yourself fired. Not setting healthy boundaries for your life can upset the equilibrium and mess with your inner peace.
2) Allowing self-doubt to consume you.
We all question if we’re capable of doing things, things that we’ve never tried before. We doubt that we’d be able to successfully accomplish the things in question. The truth is when we were kids we were able to do things with more confidence until the world began to hammer at us and tell us we weren’t capable. So, stop distracting yourself with the worst possible outcome and focus on what might happen if it all worked out. Just be committed to expanding yourself beyond the comfort zone if your seeking out inner peace.
3) Holding on to toxic relationships.
A lot of us are afraid to be alone, we fear we won’t meet people that we zing with ever again. However, what we conveniently forget is that we are a work in progress. This means that we evolve over time, so who we were in our teens might not follow us into our adulthood. So it would be normal to lose people along the way because they don’t vibe with who we become over time. Some people we lose can haunt us and mess with our inner peace but it is important to view it as a blessing instead of being scared of missing out. Move on and let go of things and people that don’t let you rise to your highest self.
4) Fear of not being enough.
The world wires us to believe that we’ll never be enough no matter how hard we work or how much effort we put into things. However, we attract what we put out into the universe. And it isn’t easy to train the mind into believing it is worthy, you have to work at it consistently. You can use a few affirmations to help get you started on the journey. One needs to be focused on having an attitude of gratitude and abundance to attain that inner peace we speak of.
5) Procrastinating.
Who doesn’t procrastinate but procrastinating can create a sense of worry and anxiety. Especially when you delay an action that was meant to be completed today or yesterday. The longer you delay something the more stress your present self feels. Your inner peace gets most affected when you procrastinate. So commit to keeping the promises you make to yourself if you want to make your way through life peacefully.
6) Stretching oneself out too thin all in the name of productivity.
As I said above, we’re all about the hustle and we forget that rest and relaxation contribute to how successful we are in our lives. Self-care and taking a break doesn’t make you less of a hard worker or any less productive. Times are tough and if you aren’t being your most productive self cut yourself some slack cause that is surely messing with your peace.
7) Not celebrating the small wins.
I’ve been contemplating this so much lately because when I watch a Hollywood flick I notice that they celebrate at Prom and graduation. These are important milestones in their lives and a good amount of time and energy is spent on them. However, when you look at how Indians function we don’t celebrate at all. We finish our 10th boards and then worry about our 12th and after that, we worry about graduating. Then we worry about internships and getting jobs totally messing with our peace of mind because we haven’t taken a minute to even process how far we’ve come in life. We don’t even stop to celebrate the things we’ve accomplished which then gives rise to the idea that we aren’t good enough. So make sure you live fully and enjoy even the small moments.
8) Being impatient with one’s healing.
Nobody likes to deal with emotional discomfort so we’re tempted to brush things under the rug and quickly try to move on from them. We torture ourselves with temporary solutions and expect things to happen overnight. But it is so important to put yourself first and focus patiently on one’s healing. Take your time to process your pain and how you really want to respond to the trauma you are experiencing. So be a friend to yourself and react to yourself with the same compassion you would to a dear friend.
9) Not investing in self-care.
Focus on self-care and your mental health. If you need to seek out help from a mental health professional you shouldn’t hesitate because your health should be a priority to you.
What are some things you’re leaving behind for inner peace? Let us know in the comments below.
Join Malini’s Girl Tribe to be a part of the conversation.