So, I’m breaking my writing hiatus for the best reason ever: to talk about Priyam Saha‘s new podcast, I Have Feelings and my favourite episode (and guest) on it, Rohan Joshi. Both the aforementioned have been responsible for making many days infinitely better thanks to how loudly they made me laugh. Rohan through his content and Priyam coz I am lucky to know her, have worked with her, and be the butt of many of her hilarious quips, the standard one being about my age. But it’s not just that. Through many friendships and endless consumption of stand-up comedy, that what is said about funny people being the smartest around is absolutely true. I’m constantly in awe of these minds at work and when they come together to exchange ideas or to have conversations, the results are epic. Case in point: Episode 2 of I Have Feelings.
Now, I have to preface this mini list by saying that I anyway find Rohan highly relatable and am convinced we could be friends or at the very least co-founders of an allergy support group, but some things he said through this podcast really cemented that feeling for me.
1. On the idea of following your passion
If you love what you do, you’ll have to work because see, at the end of the day there’s this thing that you love doing and then once it becomes work, there’s all the things that get added on top of it. No matter what you do, you will become a slave to your lifestyle. You can follow your passion, maintain your artistic integrity, but you may not get the AC you grew up with or the nice car. Then you have to accept that trade off. Or you accept that you like all that other stuff – which is fine! Do not underestimate the happiness a nice big TV or an AC room can give you!
I totally agree with the part where he talks about being a slave to your lifestyle and wanting to afford the creature comforts you grew up with and are used to. It takes a much higher calling to want to give up all that and pursue something purely for the passion alone. And secondly when he said, “You can indulge your passion, but you have to look at it professionally.”—I felt that. Coz look, I’m madly passionate about food, but do I have the stamina or the grit to survive in a professional kitchen? Hell no. So I’m going to stick to watching Top Chef and cooking for leisure.
2. On the idea of marriage
My problem with marriage is that it’s an odd concept, that at some point a couple of 100 years ago, we just started to romanticise. Today we look at marriage as this union between two people who solemnise their love for this life and seven other lives, but the truth of the matter is that marriage started as a way of brokering alliances. The origins of marriage are despotic, patriarchal and horrible.
Gosh, as someone who is getting married soon, but fundamentally disagrees with the idea of marriage, I constantly wrestle with feeling like a hypocrite that despite intellectually being against it, I’m going with my conditioning and choosing this for myself. But then, I heard Priyam put it most succinctly. If marriage is something you want to do, yes you have our full support and if you don’t want to do it, then it’s a non-conversation. And then, Rohan said something that hit home again. He said, “I would be way more pro-marriage if we lived in a culture that normalised getting out of bad ones.” Boom. I don’t have much more to add to this as commentary coz this was just an overall hard-relate segment for me.
3. On turning 30
The one thing I can attest to, there is going to be a point when one day… you’re not going to know when, you’re not going to know how… but you are going to wake up one morning after a night of partying, and you are going to sit up and there’s going to be a moment, “Ya I’m 30″… Sometime between 30 and 35, there was a switch that flipped, where overnight someone went “Achha? 7 Jager Bombs peeta hai na tu? Aaj tu 2 beers pee ke dekh!”
And finally, the most punch-in-the-gut part of this entire episode is when sweet, cute Priyam starts talking about turning 30 and Rohan hits her with the alcohol consumption-hangover switch flip. I was literally screaming, “OMG, same!” at my phone. One day you’re 20 something and managing to kill it at life after raging 5 nights a week and then in the blink of an eye, you’re 30 and taking 2 business days to get over the hangover brought to you by the two glasses of wine you had at dinner.
If you relate to the stuff I’ve written about above or if you’re young and curious about where life leads, please waste no more time and watch/listen to this podcast.
And to be a part of more such interesting conversations, don’t forget to join our wonderful community of women—Girl Tribe by MissMalini!Explore the app