Part of living life is our social interactions and experiences. We interact with a multitude of people daily and of course, we have stronger bonds with some and the other’s not so much. However, when some of these people choose to not treat one well, it’s hard to not take their behaviour personally, amirite? Obviously, because we care about what these people think of us or how they view us in society.
But the truth is taking things personally is a terribly exhaustive activity and can be emotionally draining; it also forces you to question your self-worth and esteem. It is productive to reflect on life’s choices and taking insults personally is a counter-productive activity that doesn’t lend to self-improvement of any sort. Unless of course, it is constructive criticism. Not taking things personally will allow you the freedom to focus on your emotional growth, how you respond and protect your energy.
Here are 7 ways to stop taking things personally:
1) Recognise
When people are unkind to you without being provoked, it is likely to be a reflection of issues they battle within themselves or their need or desire to control a situation. It’s almost always never about you. But if you’re afraid of having an emotional knee-jerk response then figure out your triggers and topics you feel sensitive about and prepare yourself for a situation where someone might just use them against you.
2) Rationalise
You could start by asking yourself if something you’re doing is genuinely triggering to the other person. Try and get to the bottom of their behaviour. For example, if someone always feels the need to display power even in the middle of the most generic conversation it could mean that they feel threatened by you or they could simply be insecure.
3) No Need To Respond Defensively
Anything and everything you hear or experience can be taken with a pinch of salt. If this individual is important to you or makes a difference in your life for the better then know that there might be some truth to what they are saying and that it wouldn’t hurt you to introspect. But if it is a pattern from a person you don’t share much of a relationship with you, you could just let it slide. Constructively approach their comments and see if there’s anything you can learn from it
4) Change Your Perspective
Sometimes it helps to zoom out of the situation, of course after you’ve had time to sit with your own subjective opinion on the subject. You could then proceed to ask yourself how a third person would view this particular situation. Or if you feel like the timing is right you could simply ask them why they speak to you that way instead of simply making assumptions and adding more conflict and misunderstanding to a situation.
5) Not Everyone Can Be Your Friend
You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea and you cannot please everybody. Sometimes all you can do is remember that and move along. The key here is to be more compassionate to yourself. Imagine being the voice of reason to a friend, now be that voice to yourself. Set a standard for yourself and strive to meet it, once you do, give yourself the credit and appreciation you deserve. This will help you build boundaries for yourself because you learn to not accept less than you deserve.
6) You’re More Than Someone’s Opinion Of You
People will say a lot of things to you and about you. What they say is not any of your business. You’re not defined by your mistakes or the criticism you get. You should only worry about how you and your loved one’s view you and the sooner you stop caring about what other people the freer you feel, you become better equipped at taking on life and being true to yourself.
7) Know Your Self-Worth
How much you value yourself entirely depends on you. No one else can do this for you. So try and recognise your self-worth because once you do that, you’re not going to buy into random insults because you won’t be haunted by the thought of not being enough. Learn from these experiences, how to control your emotions and how to better navigate relationships and equations. Don’t hold on to the pain and anger long enough for it to make you a bitter individual because it will only do more damage to you. So let go of the things that don’t serve a higher purpose in your life so you can make room for happiness and abundance.
What are some things you do to stop taking things personally? Let us know in the comments below.
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