Working mom guilt is when something makes you feel guilty about being a working mom. While a mom is out there working on her career goals, is she missing out on mommy-baby time and are the kids growing up too fast without her? This guilt eats her up while she is at work and while she is at home. In the midst of all this, she may also have a secret dream to get a day totally to herself, which further pushes her into this guilt trip. The worst part is the taboo that exists on talking about this, because a mother is expected to do it all!
So, how can a working mom cope with feelings of not doing enough? We reached out to Divya Singh Vishwanath, Lifestyle Blogger and Stylist, and mother of two, and asked her to share her inputs on the same. Divya says,
A working-mom has a constant internal debate about the actual existence of 'work-life-balance. Blasphemy strikes when you hear statements like "How can you let someone else raise your kids". Ignore it all! Stop beating yourself over being a working mom. Guilt, shame, regret will simply lead you downhill. You made a decision, respect that, give yourself a pat on the back.
For good measure, here are some tips Divya shares that will help you beat working mom guilt once and for all.
1. Get Your Priorities In Order
Decide what you value the most. If it's family, find ways to do meaningful things with them. Finish most of your errands over the week, so you have the weekend free. A hike or a movie or trip to the park with family is a lot better than going grocery shopping for them. Give up other unnecessary activities you might have volunteered for. You don't have to say yes to all the post work get-togethers. With a little imagination, kids can easily be made part of everyday chores. Less work for you and more time spent with them. Keep it pleasant...maybe cooking dinner can be a family affair! Show up for their games, rather than volunteer to cook lunch for the class. The line between work and family is already pretty blurred so constantly remind yourself of what is more important to you.
2. Ask For Help And Delegate
Lean on your support system. You don’t have to fold laundry or cook. Hire reliable help. Grandparents, siblings, friends are invaluable resources of help and information. Make friends with your neighbours, send them a bread basket once in a while or call them over for a meal. They will keep an eye on your house and kids in your absence. Always reciprocate the favour.
3. Set The Bar Right For Yourself
You are a kind mother, connected and available to your kids, and a good example of being self-reliant and independent. You don't need to be the epitome of sacrifice. That's setting a wrong example as the kids learn not to look after themselves. Believe that you are 'enough', even if it means saying it to yourself multiple times a day.
4. Decide Who To Listen To
Everyone around you will have an opinion. Only listen to people who really matter. Having a career or no career has to be your decision. So please get off the guilt trip.
As for having guilt, it shows you have a range of emotions within you and that makes you a caring, considerate human. Use those emotions to achieve your dreams and enjoy motherhood.