Masturbation is perhaps the most stigmatised aspect of sex. In reality, though, it’s completely normal. Healthy, even. In fact, during a recent study in India on sex, 90% of participants said they masturbate at least once a month.
We recently had a conversation on Malini’s Girl Tribe on the myths related to masturbation. It brought about an insight into the misconceptions that shroud this most intimate of all sexual practices. So, we reached out to Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist Prachi S Vaish, to get her inputs on this topic and put to rest these beliefs once and for all. Scroll down to read about some common myths related to masturbation!
Myth 1: Masturbation is an option for those who don’t have a partner.
Recently, I had a conversation with a woman who talked about her husband’s kinks (he liked to watch her). She said, ‘Why would he want to masturbate while watching me when he can actually have sex with me right there?’ This conversation made me realise how narrowly we look at masturbation.
Masturbation is our way of self-exploration and self-pleasure. When we are having sex with our partner, we are equally active in the situation. There isn’t a lot of opportunity for visual pleasure. Men especially are very visual creatures. They love to get aroused by watching. So they want to enjoy watching their partner and pleasuring themselves simultaneously because that’s the best of both worlds!
Myth 2: Women don’t masturbate as much as men do.
Well honestly, that’s only because we have been forever made to feel guilty about it and no one talks to us about how to do it right! Women like to masturbate as much as men do but fewer women (as compared to men) are aware of what to do and how to do it. Women also feel more embarrassed about it than men.
Myth 3: It’s so weird that my partner wants to watch me masturbate!
I can imagine how it might make you extremely self-conscious to masturbate in front of your partner. After all, it’s years of social conditioning that masturbation is a private, dirty activity. But believe me, if your partner has expressed a desire for it, it can be a wonderfully liberating experience for both of you! He wants to watch his woman in the throes of pleasure which he usually doesn’t get to see. He wants to see what pace you like, where you touch yourself so he can pleasure you like that too! So be a little bold, close your eyes and forget that he’s there. Or better yet, ask him to touch other parts of your body or kiss you while your fingers are busy down there! Girls, that orgasm is going to be phenomenal!
Myth 4: If he wants to masturbate, what the hell am I supposed to do in the meantime?
Watch him! If he wants to masturbate in the middle of your lovemaking, sit back, relax, maybe sip some wine, and give him an encouraging smile. Trust me, he’ll get doubly turned on. We, as women are mostly trained to look away from male private parts so we feel extremely shy looking directly at them sometimes. But when you do, he literally feels your eyes burning under his skin (in a good way, of course!) You could also give him a hand. Ask him to use your hand as his, or if that’s too much, just get behind him and caress his back and shoulders. This also solves the problem of feeling awkward or looking directly at him.
What are some other myths you’ve heard about masturbation? Please share it with us in the comments below!
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