Do you find yourself in a bad mood? Not of your own making but, one that you acquired because your friends talked to you about what was bothering them? Do you get tired from interacting with other humans often? Does that sometimes mess with your vibe? If your answer is yes to all of these questions you might be an empath. What is an empath you ask?
An empath is an emotional sponge; they take on the joys and stresses of the world like it’s their own. They are highly sensitive in nature and tend to pick up on subtle cues about what the other person might be experiencing. And they sense these feelings and emotions as if they were experiencing them. The term empath comes from the word empathy, that means one might have the ability to understand someone else’s experiences outside the purview of their own perspective. Let’s take a look at a few steps below that will help protect this vibe and energy.
When you are an empath, most times you will notice that a lot of people will randomly open up to you about their feelings. Yes, you have a gift and while it’s a wonderful thing to help people out there’s is no actual need to over-extend yourself. I’m guilty of this trait and have slowly trained myself to walk away when I know it might impact me emotionally or drain me. Even if you aren’t an empath this is something we all experience. We make plans of how we want our life to turn out. We spend time grinding towards a dream and truly forget to live in the moment.
Sometimes things don’t work out as we plan but they do work out in our favour eventually. I once read a line that changed my life forever. It said that while we experience life, we don’t see the connection but then when we look back it’s so easy to connect the dots. And since then I’ve resigned to the will of the universe and my life seems to be more on track than it ever was before. If you cannot control it, let it go, don’t dwell on it and let it mess with your vibe.
This is a tough one because as Indians this is a concept that gets drilled into us when we are kids. If we didn’t do well at school, there was always that one mother asking how did one’s child fare and then continuing on to brag about how well their child did. It’s a very uncomfortable emotion to tackle but we’ve all lived through it. So as adults we don’t know any better. We don’t realise that we’re different people, with different stories. We can’t move at the pace of another, just do your best and focus on your own goals. The minute you stop to compare yourself, it means you are focusing on the lack of something in your life. And, in order to be abundant, you must believe you are abundant. Comparisons negate this entire fact and deter the manifestation of the life you wish to live.
Pay attention to the details, there’s a lot of good in everyone’s life. Celebrate the small wins, you will feel more accomplished and you’ll continue to accomplish more thereafter. Don’t kill your own vibe with thinking someone else’s life is better than yours. Better take note of this one because I assure you doing this will free you of so much burden you don’t even know you carry.
You know those people that whisper in your ear about how they think you’re making a mistake? Or how they think you’ve made a decision over-night that might not favour you in the future? Yea? We all know these people. These people aren’t living. You cannot go through life calculating every decision with back-ups for your back-up. Sometimes you have to take that leap of faith in order to come out the other side of the rainbow. And even if you take that leap of faith and the outcome isn’t as you imagined, you have not failed. You know why? Because you learnt something, you learnt that the way you approached it wasn’t the right way and now you can alter your approach and try again. But whatever you do, you’ll feel it deep down inside. That vibe and energy will be like no other and you’ll just know in your heart when you’ve made the right choice for you.
For me, I always have this pit in my stomach when something isn’t right and when it’s right I’m emotional and excited. For a long time. I ignored my intuition citing my sensitive nature and people always made me feel like being sensitive is wrong. Well, it isn’t. You have a gift, so cherish and nurture it. It will serve you well when you are to make many of life’s important choices. And when you do you’ll feel it deep within. You are not obligated to do anything you don’t want to and especially things that don’t feel right.
Spending time alone can offer many restorative benefits. When you have time to yourself you’re able to explore the depths of your inner self. You’re able to work up the courage to come face-to-face with your limitations and then not let phase you. This allows you the room to grow and explore change. Sometimes, being on your own can shed light on many things that you might not notice in light of someone else’s shadow. Spending time alone can be a rejuvenating experience that will only enhance your vibe. Remember that when you have a clear mind you have room to do many things at once.
My best friend and I were in conversation once and she told me that she always has the nicest advice to give to her friends and family. But yet, she has the harshest things to say to herself when she’s done exactly what she’s kindly advising her friend or family member about. It’s like we both had this light-bulb of a moment and were like oh hell! We’re always the first to hate on ourselves, we are our harshest critics and this can mess with your vibe and energy. It’s almost like we judge ourselves before someone else does, so we can soften the blow for when someone decides to judge us harshly. We don’t realise how negative chatter can impact our lives.
It’s a subliminal message that changes the narrative for us in our mind. Whereas; if we were to say kind things to ourselves we might be happier people. Another thing I remain a firm believer of is that, if I have nothing nice to say then I shouldn’t say anything at all. Many a time, my thoughts will say something unkind and then I catch myself and I’m like NO, what if someone were to say the same things about me, behind my back? Wouldn’t this hurt my feelings? So I try not to think about bad things because ultimately it is not my business. Above all, please, thank you and no thank you can go a really long way.
This one is tricky and I try not to act like a judge or executioner. I tend to approach this in a simpler format. Did this hurt my feelings? Did I hurt someone’s feelings? If you are on the receiving end of the hurt identify if this is something you can move past and if it isn’t then speak up for yourself. Be honest about what you feel and experience. Not everyone may agree with you or have your back, but at least you have your own when you need to. And if you have hurt someone, always apologise regardless of whether you believe you are right or wrong. Your intent may not be to hurt or mess with someone’s vibe, but it’s always nice to say sorry.
It’s a simple format because then you don’t live with the guilt of hurting someone or harbour emotions of anger towards someone. Let it go because not knowing where you stand will inevitably create unnecessary anxiety in your life.
There are 3 things that I believe in deeply. One is that perseverance and hard work cannot be ignored. You might not be the brown-nosing kind who knows to butter the right person up. While the path of perseverance may be the road less travelled because it means slower growth, you will come out up top because you worked hard and honed your talent and skill. Two, honest kindness is a thing we didn’t know we had at our disposal. Honesty is not the preferred language because we are afraid we might offend someone with our thoughts and feelings. While this may be true we must not ignore the need to constantly agree with everyone. You can be honest and kind all the same. You can agree to disagree and if the people around you are evolved enough they will accept your response and opinion.
Three, faith—if you truly believe that you are geared to achieve something big, then you will. Faith is foresight, it is knowing something in your heart of hearts without any tangible proof of its existence. Your faith and grit will be tested time and time again but know this, we only receive what we can combat. Treat every hardship as a learning experience and nothing more. Let it not deter you or your faith in your journey. You are blessed and you will move mountains if you let your faith and vibe stay protected.
I used to be quite the people, pleaser until I realised how deeply unhappy that made me. I’ve tried to please, family, friends and even my bosses. Then I realised that whatever I do to please these people was at my expense and because I was so evidently unhappy about doing them. It would translate into my every expression leading them to be unhappy and thus leading to an unending cycle of unhappiness. Set your boundaries, do what you can to keep people happy but not at the expense of your vibe. If you can’t help but struggle with this then do seek out the help of a therapist. They will equip you with the tools needed to develop healthy boundaries and give you a helpful self-care approach.
People can be emotionally draining, this specific type of person is called an Emotional Vampire. Their MO is to always grab the attention, they always behave like they are in the midst of a crisis. They need constant validation and lack basic self-awareness. You need to spot these signs early because your saviour syndrome may kick in and you might become their agony aunt. Now, this will in turn result in a co-dependent and extremely toxic equation where you become the giver and they the taker. Recognise these traits and don’t engage them beyond a point, that point should be where you start to get overwhelmed by their vibe. Also, people that constantly criticise you and never appreciate you should totally be banned from your life.
Many people will give you different kinds of data throughout your life. We already established earlier on that different people live different narratives. So, of course, they have different stories and experiences to tell. Some of these experiences may be positive and might make you want to follow in their steps. Make sure you assess for yourself if those opinions will in fact serve your purpose. In a similar fashion, you may also find some very negative and cynical approaches that will be forced on you. If you don’t agree and don’t feel it is right in your gut then please pass on the advice. Always hear the person out, give them the satisfaction of your attention but nothing more. Trust that your energy needs this level of protection and consciousness.
Hope some of these pointers help aid you in your journey to help protect and enhance your vibe.
What are some of the things you do to protect your vibe? Let me know in the comments below.
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