As we continue to brave the COVID-19 pandemic, there’s no doubt we continue to feel an increasing amount of anxiety and decreasing level of motivation. So, we reached out to Khyati Shah, a Transformation Coach and the Founder of Katalist. and invited her to host an Ask Me Anything session on building resilience and finding your purpose on the Girl Tribe by MissMalini app. She answered all the questions the Tribe had on dealing with anxiety during uncertain times, finding the right job for yourself, dealing with feelings of stagnation at work, building resilience in the face of a crisis, unlocking motivation, moving forward with your goals, finding your life purpose, and more. Scroll down to read all that she shared!
Here are some questions on building resilience that Khyati answered:
Q. I used to count resilience as one of my biggest strengths and now slowly, I’m coming to the realisation that in many ways, for women, resilience is just glorifying taking crap silently. Same with religion that considers suffering in silence as virtuous. So, where is the line between building resilience and knowing when it’s better to get out of a hard situation?
Resilience means that when life knocks you down with difficult situations, you come back stronger. You face the situation and come out positive. On the other hand, when you are facing a difficult situation because it is imposed on you (you may be opposed to it), it is called being submissive. So, next time, when you are faced with a challenge–use self-compassion as your yardstick. Take up the challenge if it motivates you to become a better version of yourself, and not if it is being forced upon you.
Q. Lately, I’ve been having a lot of anxiety regarding my family’s well-being. I find myself mentally unequipped to deal with the uncertainty that the present and the future hold. How can I become more resilient so that I can deal with this better?
It is said that anxiety in some ways is a response to a false alarm. We humans have this unique ability to think about the future. As long as we do that, planning and preparing for it is good. But when this goes out of control and we create imaginary situations, it leads to anxiety and sometimes even panic attacks. Doing the following will help you deal with it better: exercising, meditation, focusing on nutrition and sleep, engaging in a hobby, and journaling.
Q. Now that we have been resilient during the entire year through this lockdown, how do we deal with the thought that it could take even a couple more years to get back to normalcy and continue to be resilient? How do we shake this feeling of impending doom?
You are not alone in feeling that the current situation seems to be neverending. But have faith that like every challenging situation, this too shall pass. Resilience is like a muscle–the more you work on it the stronger it gets. Meanwhile, equip yourself and your family to accept the ‘new normal’. This is your chance to create a routine that works for you.
- Define what work-life balance means to you. Every person looks at it differently.
- Make exercise a part of your routine–this is beneficial for the mind and body.
- Motivate your children to be self-reliant and disciplined. Depending on their age, give them some responsibilities at home.
- Make a family gratitude jar–every night each family member can write one thing that they are grateful for and put a chit in the jar. It is a powerful way to stay positive.
Q. Resilience is the ability to cope with adversities and one puts on a brave face to focus on their purpose. But I feel that the emotional conflict is still buried somewhere affecting one’s emotional and mental health. So how does one deal with the actual inner conflict?
Dealing with adversities doesn’t change the fact that we are emotional beings. If we don’t acknowledge and accept these emotions, we invite mental health issues. Journaling has proved to be very beneficial to come to terms with and deal better with the emotional rollercoaster. Indulge in activities that give you a sense of pleasure, achievement, and connection to stay stable.
Q. How can a person who is struggling to find a job in these difficult times keep up with the morale? How can they handle this situation if it is affecting their mental health?
Many people have lost jobs during Covid and it is indeed a very challenging situation. It is important to maintain a positive attitude and never let negative thoughts pull you down. Focus on:
- Taking care of your health with the right nutrition and exercise.
- Explore various avenues to find a job.
- See if you can acquire a new skill while searching for the next job.
- Also, explore if you can use this as an opportunity to do something on your own.
- Start interacting on professional platforms with potential employers.
- Try meditation.
Q. What is the best course of action to take when a financial crisis hits one’s family?
A financial crisis has no easy answers. It must be a very difficult phase, but it is a phase and it shall pass for sure. While you are figuring out alternate means of income, try to think out of the box. Not just where you find a job similar to what you were doing, but what else you can do. Ikigai is a concept which helps you convert your skill and passion into your vocation. What have you always loved doing? What do people seek your help for? How can you earn from it? Simultaneously, conserve your resources. You will come out stronger!
Q. How can one maintain their sanity when everything around them is falling apart? The feeling of hopelessness has started to take the wheel and there’s nothing to look forward to.
This is the time to realise the power of CHOICE! As quoted by Viktor Frankl–Everything can be snatched away from man, but his power of choice. Use this as an opportunity to re-invent yourself. Take up a new course or a hobby which will keep you in a positive mental space. Remember, you can choose to be dragged down, or choose to rise above the situation. The old finally gives way to the new–let us ensure that the ‘new’ is beautiful.
What would you like to know about building resilience? Please share it with us in the comments below!