As parents, we often worry about how to raise our children to be confident. Sometimes, we even struggle between disciplining them and allowing them to follow their instincts. So, we reached out to Dr. Kriti Israni, Child Development & Parenting Expert, and the Founder of Hale & Hearty Kids, and asked her to share her expert insights on ways we can instill confidence in our kids. Read on to know all that she shared! 

1. Free Play

There cannot be anything else that can replace free play. Free play is the most effective way you can let kids observe, learn, choose and decide things independently. This enhances their self-confidence and ability to be themselves in different environments.

2. Choice

Create scenarios, give options and let your child choose—be it in picking clothes, toys or books. It is important to let them make a choice and feel content about their decision.

3. Ability To Say No

When you ask your child a question, and allow them answer in a yes/no manner, you instill confidence in them and help them connect to their inner self.

4. Ability To Self-Regulate

When experiencing an emotion, if a child is unable to handle them, they may throw a tantrum or have a meltdown. During this time, ensure you soothe and calm them, but at the same time not push them to overpower or cease the emotion altogether. Instead, catch the child’s pace and support them in regulating their emotions, rather than trying to control them. This helps them to build self-confidence.

5. No Shouting Or Threatening

When kids have a peaceful or a happy environment, they don’t feel threatened, unsafe or insecure; they feel confident enough to be who they are. Shouting and using threatening tones around them, creates a sense of fear and suppresses their growth in the long run.

6. Safe Zone To Express

Kids need to sense safety to express themselves freely. Expression allows freedom, and freedom instills confidence. 

7. Spend Quality Time

Parents must spend quality time to their children. Building deep emotional connections by getting involved in what they want to do and what they want to say, goes a long way in understanding what the kids believe is valuable. Their thought process holds meaning and that builds confidence in them. 

8. Allow Them To Struggle

When children start to do something new, they may feel it’s an obstacle, and may feel discouraged to continue with the task. It is very important to let them struggle and figure out their way. This teaches them that they are enough by themselves, and it builds resilience, self-confidence and patience.

9. Sense Of Self-Accomplishment

When a child accomplishes something, it is important for them to feel happiness in their accomplishment, rather than feeding into the sense that their parents are happy with their accomplishment. We have to let them experience this independent sense of achievement by taking a back step and reiterating that we are happy to see you happy.

10. Avoid Over-Parenting

It is our inherent nature that whenever we find our kids in a tough situation or see them struggling, we try to overpower and protect them. Whenever we want our kids to do something, we often dictate and without realising impose our authority as ‘this should be done” or “this must be done”. The overprotecting nature of parents suppresses the child, and makes them believe that their feelings and thoughts are incorrect. We often succumb to this as parents because it is the quicker way. We need to observe, guide and help them gradually maneuver their feelings. This is difficult and gradual, but necessary in instilling confidence.

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