Robert Pattinson's Not-So-Official Statement.

Karen Alfonso , 27 Jul 2012
Robert Pattinson (Photo Courtesy | ©
Robert Pattinson (Photo Courtesy | ©

The world is aghast of the news that Kristen Stewart cheated on the man who has stolen a million hearts aka Robert Pattinson. While philanderer Rupert Sanders and  she  both issued statements, their respective partners have been mum on the matter.

But the folks at have decided not to wait for his official statement, but create their very own on how Pattinson would have allegedly reacted to the news. Read it below:

RP: What’s that? Kristen cheated on me? Seriously? Oh man. Oh God. Oh man. Oh God oh man oh God oh man. I feel so…

[squints really hard to simulate crying]

RP: She seemed so happy, you know? Except for when she was pouting and refusing to talk, which I guess she did a lot. Was it something I did? I just wanna…

[bites bottom lip to simulate anger]

RP: I feel so… What’s that feeling where someone is loyal to you and then they’re suddenly not loyal? I feel unloyaled to.

[stares wistfully into camera with mouth partially open]

RP: I can’t take this right now.

[stares down at the floor at an angle to simulate deep thought]

RP: I remember when we first met, you know? And I was like, “Hi, I’m Rob.” And she was like, “Ummm.” And I was like, “Yeah.” And she was like, “Ummm.” And then I was like, “Ummm.” And she was like, “Yeah.” You don’t make that kind of connection with someone every day, you know? So for her to go out and cheat on me with Walt Disney… I don’t know how to react to that other than…

[runs hand through immaculate hair]

RP: I have such great fans, you know? They’re great.

*lol* I think this is such as funny post. They’ve nailed EXACTLY how Pattinson behaves and emotes onscreen. Wonder when his official statement comes out, will it be similar? What do you think? And would YOU forgive her?

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