Oscars 2013: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Unchained!

Oscars 2013: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and The Unchained!

Malini Agarwal
MissMalini's Oscar party
MissMalini’s Oscar party

My girlfriends and I decided we would have an Oscar party (in our jammies) tonight. Drink wine, eat olives and comment on fashion, film and the future Mrs. Clooney! So for a change I skipped the 6am LIVE telecast and totally avoided reading any Oscar related news till 8pm this evening. Just so I could be equally surprised when I found out who won and it totally worked! Unfortunately, the Oscars this year were a little *ho hum* BUT I managed to throw together the things we loved, laughed at and hated anyway, just for you.

A lot of credit for the comments below must go to my girls Heena Jain, Andrea Brown and Neera Chanani, without whom this night would not have been half as much fun and I would never have blogged such excellent observations that can only be made when 4 girls get together and watch to Oscars :) Enjoy! xoxo

The Good.

Jennifer Aniston and her rock. They both rocked! Beautiful dress (Valentino if you please), beautiful man (Justin Theroux) and a beautiful rock, better than the other one me thinks. Well done my FRIEND :)

Halle Berry‘s banging body. We agreed that although we don’t always love shoulder pads, they looked incredible on her in Versace. Plus she said “Pussy Galore” and everyone’s head exploded.

Halle Berry Versace dress
Halle Berry Versace dress

Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained – a well deserved win!

Best Animated Short Film, Paperman. Adding that to my list of movies I must watch!

Best Animated Film, Brave. I loved it. Also I’m told if you love Disney movies you should read a book called Disney Wars. Also best comment ever, “And of course they show the redheads after this movie wins!”

The Avengers presenting together.

Best Cinematography and Best Visual Effects Life of Pi yay! It was cute to see Nicole Kidman mouthing “poor thing” when they cut off their acceptance speech.

Norah Jones at The Oscars, love the dress with the belt, don’t love the hair but SUPER excited that you’re coming to Bombay!

Best Costume Design, Anna Karenina. AMAZING movie btw, I watched it twice in two days.

Live Action Short Film, Curfew

Best Documentary Short, Inocente

Seth Farlane‘s epic Ben Affleck “that horrible movie Gigi you did with JLo” jibe. *LOL* Low but well played! PS. We like you with that beard Ben, we do.

Best Documentary Feature, Searching for Sugar Man

Best Foreign Language Film, Amour

Best Sound Mixing, Les Misérables obviously.

Best Sound Editing, was a tie between Zero Dark Thirty & Skyfall.

Best Supporting Actress, Anne Hathaway for Les Misérables. Your hair is growing out quite nicely.

Best Film Editing, Argo.

Best Production Design, Lincoln.

Best Original Score, Life of Pie

Best Original Song, Adele for Skyfall

Cool stage set up for the final awards! I like the old-school cameras on stage. And um, Charlize Theron looks uh-mazing! We’ll even forgive the peplum we’re getting sick of because we love this  2000 Vera Wang dress SO much.

Best Adapted Screenplay, Argo

Best Original Screenplay, Django Unchained to Quentin Tarantino. Nice leather tie buddy, peace out.

Quentin Tarantino
Quentin Tarantino

Best Director, Ang Lee, Life of Pi. OMG yes yes yes! “Thank you too, movie God.” (You know btw that Suraj Sharma scored the lead while he was at the audition to give his brother Shriharsh Shar company.)

Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas. Boom. FYI she is 75 years old!

Btw, I have to watch Beats of the Southern Wild this little girl seems amazing :)

Best Actress, Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook. Wow, well done! Only the poor thing fell getting up on stage *awww*

Hmm, another movie I have to see, The Master with Joaquin Phoenix.

Best Actor, Daniel Day Lewis for Lincoln. Nice! And well-deserved :) Without a doubt the best speech of the night, it was his third Oscar after all! And his wife has such kind eyes.

Best part was deffy Daniel joking that before he decided to do it he had actually committed it to play Margaret Thatcher as he smiled at Meryl Streep. *LOL*

Hmm, I have to watch Amour too I think. It looks sad and sweet.

Best Picture, Argo. Line of the night, Grant Heslov, “I know what you’re thinking. Three sexiest producers alive.” Hahahaha awesome.

The Von Trap family Sound of Music sketch. And of course Seth keeps cracking himself up :)

The Bad.

Kerry Washington seems to have lost so much weight “she look s a bit like a bobble-head!”

Best Makeup & Hairstyling, Les Miserables – personally I think The Hobbit should have won this award. Also the ladies who won might have made an effort and done their own at the very least for the Oscars don’t you think?! And those pink tights, eeks!

The Goldfinger song rendition. Yes we get it, Goldfinger – gold dress, very clever. She may be Dame Shirley Bassey and all that but it felt kinda blah. (And the sheer part of her dress was just disturbing.)

Jennifer Lawrence was a super stiff and breathless presenter. Or as one of my girlfriends put it, “maybe she just can’t breathe in that dress.” A palest pink Christian Dior Couture gown if you please.

Um.. why was Kristen Stewart limping? “And why is her hair always so sloppy?!” The gem was, “Oh look, it’s Harry Potter and Bella from Twilight, they would have really scary children.” Oh and where was Edward?!

PS. Apparently her makeup artist Beau Nelson said she “cut the ball of her foot, quite severely, on glass two days ago.” Doing what may I ask?! Oh wait, I don’t care.

OMG, while we love that she was on the show the First Lady Michelle Obama‘s bangs have got to go. I know we liked them when we first saw them, but #nownotsomuch.

The Ugly.

Reese Witherspoon’s weird boobs. Small and low hanging in this Louis Vuitton dress. Eeks.

Heidi Klum‘s exposed boobs. This is not a good look.

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Anne Hathaway’s awful dress. Misérable indeed. Who the devil wears this kind of cut out Prada monstrosity in such a blah color and pointy nipples?

Anne Hathaway Prada dress
Anne Hathaway Prada dress

2nd dress still not much better. She looks like a chandelier. *Ugh* funnily enough the one guy we were watching with, Akash Jain had only this comment to make through the entire show, “there are too many people on stage.” *LOL* thanks

Paul Rudd & Melissa Ann McCarthy – weird Oscar presentation. That was just, odd.

Jennifer Garner‘s hideous purple dress. Picture Barney (yes the purple dinosaur) in a plum custom-made Gucci dress. Girlfriend they custom-made a mistake! “And I think I can see her spanx!”

Jennifer Garner plum Gucci dress
Jennifer Garner plum Gucci dress

And The Unchained!

How awesome is this dress? Stacey Keibler looked amazing! Well done Naeem Khan (making us proud!)

Stacey Keibler in Naeem Khan
Stacey Keibler in Naeem Khan

And guess who her arm candy was?

Keibler and Clooney!


“Jamie Fox is always so smooth.” Oh yes he is.

We were divided on the blingy bow-tie however, what do you think?

Seth’s eyebrows,  *o_O* I mean they’re definitely not in line on his face right?!


We couldn’t get over the regal lady by Robert De Niro’s side, his lovely wife Grace Hightower. And tower she does!

The Boob Song. Considering all the awful boob disasters on the red carpet this year I think this was pretty awesome :)

The sock puppet version of Flight. Better than the original movie. Like way better.

“Whoa John Travolta‘s had some work done on his face eh?” They celebrated 10 years since Chicago won best picture – LIVE with Catherina Zeta Jones. Wow. She is 43 and has that body? Meanwhile Michael Douglas is 68. “He was born in 1944? That’s before India got it’s Independence.”

Have you seen this Kate Hudson cover on Glee btw? She looks amazing!

Ted presenting an award!

What is up with Renée Zellweger‘s eyes? She looks like she can barely see! She was swaying and couldn’t even read the winners names?!  Hammered much? *LOL*

And that’s our show! I hope you enjoyed reliving it with me just as much as I enjoyed blogging it for ya! :)