What To Tell Yourself When You’re Feeling Discouraged

What To Tell Yourself When You’re Feeling Discouraged

Nelly Wadia

Do you ever wake up feeling like every day is a Monday and you just want to go back to bed? You begin to feel like you’re going through an existential crisis because you have no idea what you’re working towards. It is absolutely normal to have these moments of discouragement throughout your life. We all feel discouraged. We all feel lost. You are not alone in this.

It is completely normal to have moments of discouragement throughout your life. However, how we deal with it is the true testament of our nature. Putting a positive spin on a negative situation can make a huge difference, and will empower you to fight away the negative feelings in time. I honestly believe in the power of positive thinking and how it can uplift your mood.

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Here are a few things to help you move on from feeling discouraged:

Write in a journal when you feel discouraged

Many days my notebooks were my best friend, I knew I could cry my heart out to a book and it wouldn’t give me advice or tell me I’d be fine. I always reached out to it when I was at my lowest points in life. And somehow, when I was done writing I felt lighter like I understood myself better. Now when I look back at my journals I can track my triggers and see how much I have evolved. It is a really wonderful way to give credit to yourself, so when you feel discouraged, write. Even if you hate the idea of a journal, write a note on your phone or make a voice memo. It doesn’t just have to be the written word, find a medium that keeps you sane.

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Be honest with yourself and others

I used to think that keeping things to myself was the best way to go through life. But I would inevitably find myself in an angry state. I would explode when I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore. That’s when I realized it is better to communicate honestly with my friends and loved ones. That also slowly allowed me the strength to be more confident in my ways. Don’t minimize what you’re going through because someone else’s journey looks tougher. Talk it out and lean on your loved ones; this will enrich their lives as well.

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Ask for help when you feel discouraged

Once you’ve spoken to your friends and family you know you have the power to ask for help if you need it. Even when we speak to them we may or may not share all the private details with them. Sometimes it helps to seek out professional help when you can’t find a clear and objective path forward. Don’t live with your discouraged state of mind. Bite the bullet and fight for yourself. Asking for help is courageous.

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Reprioritise

More often than not we feel listless and discouraged when we’re mentally and emotionally drained. You’ve stretched yourself too thin trying to be a one-man army and while on some days it helps to be that person, you don’t need to be that person every day. Start to objectively analyse your list of things to do drop the things that don’t need immediate attention. Then go through your day by knocking things off your list peacefully. You give yourself time to act and think freely without the stress of a forced deadline. You’ll notice that your productivity goes up and that low feeling disappears in time.

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Embrace change

I learned that change was the only constant in life at a very tender age. I never fully understood it back then but I allowed myself to change and adapt along the way. Soon I realized that the more I resisted change as an adult the harder it became for me to thrive. In those moments I found myself discouraged because I’d feel broken over not embracing change. You have the power to choose, it will empower you to make decisions and transform your life.

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Live in the moment

I could sit here and tell you all the right things but truly practising them is hard. When we’re defeated and discouraged we’re plagued with our negative inner chatter. Have them feel them and live them. The key to living well is managing the negative thoughts, practice acknowledging your thoughts but don’t let them consume you. Don’t focus on the past or the future, just focus on making the current moment a memorable experience.

Every time you have a negative thought you could say something nice to yourself to help rise from that moment. The best thing to do when you start is to observe yourself before you react. Remind yourself of all the good things in your life, it will bring you joy and you’ll start to feel hopeful again. We don’t need to have it all figured out, the pain makes up only small chapters of our life. Embrace the mystery and joys of life’s curveballs.

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Practice gratitude

It is all too easy to get discouraged by not being further along in your journey than you are. Why do we forget to see how far we’ve come? Practise gratitude. This might sound preachy but when I go to bed at night I think of 3-5 things I’m so utterly thankful for in my life. It puts my life in perspective and I go to bed feeling positive. If you prefer to list this out every day to get into the practice of it you can do that too. Look at it at the end of the month; you’ll begin to feel less and less discouraged as time goes by.

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Refuel

I notice that I stagnate when I haven’t taken a break when I haven’t felt one with nature. I know this sounds trite, but sitting in silence at a beach or a scenic location really gets my creative juices flowing. I’m also an introvert so it takes a vital amount of my energy to communicate with people on a day to day basis. To replenish, I need to be silent, lie in bed and immerse myself with Pinterest. That’s where I find my motivation and inspiration, even some wonderful topics to blog about. Remember that when you constantly put your work before yourself you’re bound to feel discouraged and you might even begin to resent your work. Make time for yourself, do the things you love, don’t overextend yourself. You can’t do justice to your work and be productive all the same if you aren’t serving yourself.

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This too shall pass

Remember when I said the only thing constant in life is change? Nothing lasts forever, not even the feeling of being discouraged. But when you are experiencing pain and sadness you might think this period will last forever. Just breathe and tell yourself that this too shall pass, it’s the bad things that make us savour the successes.

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Do you have any tips on how to work through those feelings of being discouraged? Share it with us in the comments below!

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